By: Jamie Klemashevich “I just can’t get motivated.” Most people have bemoaned their lack of motivation at some point in life. Whether motivation to exercise, motivation to do work, or motivation to build relationships, motivation seems to be in short supply. The term motivation indicates willingness to pursue goals. However, I hear people use the[…]
By: Jamie Klemashevich When I was a child, I hated shots. Everyone did, but I really did. Clawing at the wall like a rabid animal in the futile hope that I could fight my way out of the situation kind of hatred. The doctors tried “framing” it in gentler ways. “You’re just going to feel[…]
By: Jamie Klemashevich “I believe my child has been inhabited by aliens.” Most parents of adolescents don’t say it out loud, but find themselves thinking “who is this child?!” It can be difficult for parents to know what’s really going on. Is it hormones? Is it a phase? Should I take my child to see[…]
By: Jamie Klemashevich In the last post, we explored action steps for dealing with manipulative people in a loving way. But what if your most beautiful, thoughtful, prayerful efforts to respond well have no effect? What if a person continues to cross boundaries and continues use manipulation tactics on you? Take a deep breath my[…]
By: Jamie Klemashevich This is the hard part, friends. We’ve talked about manipulation and the need to recognize it when it’s happening. We’ve identified several of the behaviors that indicate the presence of manipulation. All that remains is how to love manipulative people without giving in to the manipulation. Step 1: Be aware. This includes[…]
By: Jamie Klemashevich Last time, I shared about how we often confuse love with “niceness.” Love speaks difficult truth, and love does not enable manipulation. Loving a manipulator often means being more direct that you want to be, and it may involve having some difficult conversations to set your boundaries. We will get into that[…]
by: Jamie Klemashevich We’ve all been there: kicking ourselves for catering to the demands of others, finding ourselves in situations where we feel trapped, thinking that loving others surely doesn’t mean feeling so enslaved in relationships. Often, the reason is, “I felt bad (or guilty or mean or rude).” These feelings are actually coming from[…]
Many moms work hard to: – help their children reach the “normal” developmental milestones; – get their kids to eat healthy, make healthy friendships, and develop good character; – allow their kids to attend good schools or to homeschool them.Moms have so many hopes and dreams for their children, but at the[…]
by: Sally Smith Photo Credit: Malcolm Manners from here via CC. From birth most of us spend much of our lives avoiding pain. We naturally recoil from things that hurt us, sometimes going as far as to strike first to avoid being the recipient of pain. Often this tendency is helpful, it helps us learn not to touch the stove or[…]
Recently, I have seen an influx of couples seeking counseling and asking one question: are we prepared for marriage. As a counselor I get elated when premarital couples come in with this question on their hearts. Partly because they still kind of like each other, which makes therapy more fun, and partly because I am[…]